All this to say that as we were traveling home last night we were talking about what it would be like to bring Jonathan and David home. It's hard to know because we have never done this before. It feels like we are treading on new territory. Finally after evaluating and talking about the struggles, joys and changes that are to come, I told Jason that this adoption feels like the first time you are going to have a baby. You can try to plan for what it will be like and the feelings you will have, but reality happens when you bring that baby home and realize how much they will change your life and visually see them in your home.
Some of the thoughts that go through my head are sometimes in contradiction to each other.
- "I am so ready to bring our sons home!" vs. "Am I really ready for them?"
- "When people see them, they will surely accept them and treat them as they would our girls and part of our family!" vs. "Will there be differences?"
- "I am confident that the Lord will give me strength for raising 4 kids!" vs. "What are we doing, I am tired sometimes just raising 2 right now!!"
Pray for us this week that this will be the court date that we pass. I am preparing myself for both though. In His goodness, He ordains all things, even court dates!