Is this the Week?

I had the privilege to travel with Jason this week up to Natchez, MS and spend Sat. night at a hotel with the girls. It is a joy to be with my husband and to hear God's word. It fills my soul and encourages me in the fight of Faith. That was just a side note to share thankfulness to God for giving Jason such a gift to preach God's word and communicate it in such a way that shows God's glory and greatness!!
All this to say that as we were traveling home last night we were talking about what it would be like to bring Jonathan and David home. It's hard to know because we have never done this before. It feels like we are treading on new territory. Finally after evaluating and talking about the struggles, joys and changes that are to come, I told Jason that this adoption feels like the first time you are going to have a baby. You can try to plan for what it will be like and the feelings you will have, but reality happens when you bring that baby home and realize how much they will change your life and visually see them in your home.
Some of the thoughts that go through my head are sometimes in contradiction to each other.

• "I am so ready to bring our sons home!" vs. "Am I really ready for them?"

• "When people see them, they will surely accept them and treat them as they would our girls and part of our family!" vs. "Will there be differences?"

• "I am confident that the Lord will give me strength for raising 4 kids!" vs. "What are we doing, I am tired sometimes just raising 2 right now!!"

I continually am reminding myself that in my weakness, He is strong!! I am weak and feel so desperate for the Lord to sustain me and give me wisdom. Ironically, that is a good place to be....desperate before the Lord. Because we are weak and frail and our pride can keep us from realizing how much we need God in our lives on a daily and hourly basis.
Pray for us this week that this will be the court date that we pass. I am preparing myself for both though. In His goodness, He ordains all things, even court dates!