Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Camping and Persevering

We are finally done with our renovations....(a BIG sigh of relief). You know when women get to the end of their pregnancy and get into a nesting mode?? Well, mine was extreme nesting!! We updated 2 bathrooms, the kitchen and got the boy's room ready. With the extra work came the girls having a hard time with the fact that we had to put some of our attention elsewhere. We tried to explain that all this would take a family effort, including them. They did so well and helped us count the days until we were done. We promised them something special at the end if they persevered with us!!
We tried to think of something that they had never done before. This is what we came up with!

We went to Wal-mart to get some "fun" food. Each of them was able to pick one thing. Gracie picked triple choc pudding cups. Allie picked string cheese. We added smores and hot dogs and juice. Let me pause right here and say that Allie adores her marshmellows. She carried them all over the store, in the van and around outside until she was able to open them and roast them. When we got home, all I could here was giggle and sqealing over the idea of camping out in our backyard. Luckily it was cool last night and perfect weather to "camp"(I hate sweating in a tent with no air movement)!!
Both of the girls have perfected the "art of roasting marshmellows". I personally like mine slowly roasted with a golden crust on the outside and melted all the way through. Gracie likes hers that way as well, but Allie is a different story. She quickly pokes her marshmellow down into the fire and waits for it to catch fire, while she is smacking her lips. She gleefully watches it burn for awhile and then blows it out. It doesn't take her very long to stick it in her mouth. She doesn't let it cool down at all. And then she is back to begging for more. I decided to be the "yes" mommy last night and let them eat anything and everything to their heart's content. Needless to say, by the end of our campfire celebration, they couldn't even finish their pudding cups and declared themselves to be so full that they could hardly walk.
The girls slept pretty well last night and Jason and I did our best to get what we could. We were all up by 6:30 this morning, which I thought wasn't too bad, given all the outdoor sounds and the loud birds that decide to start their day's at 4:30-5am. The above picture was taken this morning after they woke up.

This week as been harder than most with waiting to hear something on our case. There seems to be more questions and no answers. My heart is so heavy and I feel like there is a rock weighing it down. Both Jason and I are feeling discouraged and wondering how long this process can be drug out. We should have had them home a long time ago. Things seem to be changing in Ethiopia and it's hard to figure out what kind of waiting period people are having to go through. The courts are taking a lot longer and there is no one to even give us a estimate. This is the first time that Jason and I are both feeling discouraged. Usually one is down and can encourage the other. Our hearts are bursting with anticipation, and love and with missing them. Maybe that is where the weight comes from. I feel like when I do finally get to meet them for the first time or when we bring them home, the flood gates of emotions will erupt. There are already cracks in the dam and I am about ready to burst. I am not sure what is going to come forth though, tears or frustration.
I am reminded of a qhote that says: "we spend too much time listening to ourselves, than preaching to ourselves". I am trying to quench my own doubts and preach to myself the promises of God's word and bathe it in prayer.....Lord give me strength and help me to finish this waiting well.


Jen Stutzman said...

preach it sista!! the only answers we have to all the questions is prayer. what an opportunity God is giving us to trust him each moment but it hurts so bad. My daughter would of loved to camp with your girls, so cute.

Paula said...

Camping in the backyard looked like it was fun. We used to take our kids camping when they were little and they loved it. I'm so sad that you are still waiting for your boys. Your family is in my prayers every day. I will take lots of photos of them when we are in Ethiopia. Hopefully when we get back, you will have had some good news.

Lea said...

I keep meaning to send you this poem. I can't even begin to imagine how long and hard this waiting seems or how much your heart aches for them. LOVE YOU...Lea

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
©Russell Kelfer. All rights reserved.