Yesterday was a normal day full of business and responsibilities. As with each day, I am at some level always thinking about our boys and the adoption, even if it is more subconscious. I have found lately that I will be doing fine, but at times will casually go down the path of our adoption sequence and what is or is not happening and then I lose it. Right in the middle of whatever I am doing. For one that has considered herself an even keel person, I have been rather emotional this past year!
So...back to yesterday!! I was a mess and I started to pick up the phone to call someone that would have totally understood how I was feeling. Something stopped my hand and Phil. 4:6 ran through my head. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." I let go of the phone and realized I needed to be going to my Father in Heaven that knows perfectly the state of my heart.
I recommitted in my heart with the Lord yesterday to go first to Him before going to my husband or friends with my burdens or concerns or even joys. Spending time with the Lord and being reminded about His promises and His Word will filter a lot of my anxiety and hurt, if I would first place it in the most perfect and capable hands of my Lord.